August 2026

2026-08-31T07:46:35-07:00Categories: arts, brain, Creative, creative aging, dementia, family, featured posts, nature, politics, travel, Uncategorized|Tags: , , , , |

One of my mother’s final paintings, before Alzheimer’s put away her palette and brushes for good, was this lightning-bright landscape. You might think, looking at this picture, that she lived in an old-growth forest. She did not. She lived in Madrona, an old Seattle neighborhood where stately Tudor and Queen Anne homes mix closely, sometimes just a few feet apart, with modest mid-century houses like hers. The best thing about her home was its stunning view: Mt. Rainier to the south, all of the middle Cascade Mountains to the east, and Lake Washington glittering in the foreground. This is one of the few landscapes she painted that stepped beyond reality, putting a forest in the place of rooftops and lighting up the eastern sky with a sunrise that appears to be bursting forth from the heart of a blazing forest fire. She probably painted this in the mid-1990s, before smoke and fire became regular summer visitors to the always-green—or so we thought—Pacific Northwest. Now, in 2026, this painting looks to me like August personified. No muted grays, no misty rain; it is a fiery sky reflected in a dark-edged lake fringed with a forest that is starting to burn.  Oh August. You are the month that used to be the sparkling standout of the Pacific Northwest. Now, you’re like an aging beauty who is becoming ever more fragile. We don’t want you to go. We could easily have said goodbye to November or March. But August? We grieve. And not just for our own idyllic corner [...]

Hope is a Choice

2026-06-23T09:33:02-07:00Categories: featured posts, feminism, film, politics, Seattle, Uncategorized, women's rights|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

“Hope is a choice,” Michelle Obama reminded us last week, at the grand opening of the Obama Presidential Center in Chicago. “Whether or not we use our voices to speak up is a choice. Voting is a choice. Being a decent human being is a choice. Believing that we still hold the power to build a country that reflects us all is a choice.” I am so ready to choose hope. I am so tired of despair and dismay and disgust. If Michelle Obama is offering up hope, I’m all in. Watching her speech, and her husband’s, felt like going home after a very long time away. It felt like feeling better after a miserable flu. It also felt like a happy dream, from which I knew I would be required to wake up and return to reality. But Michelle Obama gave me a parting gift, and she reminded me that I had to choose to accept it: hope. It’s a choice. And it’s not magic: we have to choose to do the work that our hope inspires. Earlier in June, I heard a differently delivered but equally welcome message of hope from another eloquent woman. This one I got to receive in person. "Not only are we going to win, we’re going to win BIG,” said Nancy Pelosi on a big-showers-with-big-sun-breaks Saturday afternoon at Fremont Studios in Seattle. Pelosi’s voice was firm. She waved her arms emphatically. This was not a guess, it was a declaration. Doubt was not allowed. “And the Senate is a [...]

Waking up Grateful

2025-11-24T14:29:53-08:00Categories: arts, Creative, featured posts, film, nature, politics, reading, Seattle, Uncategorized, urban life, writing|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Gray gets old, say the skies of this particular November. Sometimes you’ve just got to splash the sunrise with a bright band of orange and let it melt into a wash of peach and pink. Sometimes you’ve got to just drop everything and put on a show. Which suits my mood because lately, I have been waking up feeling grateful. Big G, little g, every kind of grateful. Why now? In this month, in this city, where the days are getting shorter and darker so rapidly it’s hard to keep up? And yet here I am, bathed in gratitude. For so many things. Here are a few:  The tiny, barely-pink-yet buds on my ancient Christmas cactus, which never ever used to bloom, because I neglected it for about three decades, until one day, about a year ago, when I decided to treat it with the respect it deserved, being so old and still inexplicably alive.  The Cooper’s Hawk who perched on a branch right outside my window for a good long stare-down. He was curling and uncurling his claws. Unsure whether to stay or go. It was like we were having a phone conversation with our eyes, instead of just dashing off a good-morning text. I didn't dare unlock eyes and reach for my camera. This happened days ago, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Those eyes! All the leaves, gold and orange and red and now mostly gone from our block, but still lighting up the dark spots in the parks and woods. I’ve [...]

AFOG

2025-07-31T08:30:09-07:00Categories: creative aging, featured posts, hiking, human rights, nature, politics, Uncategorized|

One summer night in 2017, I remember standing in our small neighborhood park, talking to a neighbor. We were both on crutches. I’d had foot surgery; she had a broken ankle. Her husband had just been diagnosed with cancer. His prognosis was not good. Meanwhile, we had a new president.        “Well, you know what they say,” she said to me. “Just another AFOG.”  “AFOG?”  “Oh, you don’t know? AFOG: Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth.”  Growth. News flash: we don’t just get old. We grow old. And growth is not painless. “Getting old” is something that just… happens. Such as fading. Or rusting. Or wrinkling. “Growth” takes work. Like a seed pushing a shoot upward towards the light on the other side of the soil. Like the shoot inching its way, for decades, towards becoming a tree. Like a broken bone, healing far more slowly when you’re sixty-something than when you’re six. AFOG. My husband and I started the month of June at a campground on the waterfall-laden Lewis River, southeast of Mt. St. Helens in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest. A century ago, after the brutal Yacolt fires of 1902, the land that became our campground was likely nothing but a ghostly stand of charred timber. Now, the second growth trees are so tall it’s hard to believe they haven’t been standing for hundreds of years. We started the month of July backpacking on the Hoh River trail in the heart of the Olympic National Park, where there are trees of all ages, from [...]

Go Small

2025-03-24T10:00:58-07:00Categories: arts, Creative, featured posts, human rights, immigration, journalism, politics, Uncategorized, writing|Tags: , , , , , , , |

Last week was another punching-bag week, wasn’t it? Maybe you felt like the punching bag, and all you wanted was for the punches, aka the big ugly news alerts, to stop. Or maybe you needed to go find an actual punching bag and start punching. Or maybe it was the small stuff—your phone froze, the light rail was delayed, a muscle ache popped up somewhere you didn’t even know there was a muscle—all of which you could normally handle, if you hadn’t just been hit with another outrageous announcement from the White House. Or maybe, as happened in my neighborhood one morning, you heard gunshots that were way too loud, aka way too close for comfort, though no one was injured, thank God; probably it was somebody wanting to scare somebody else, without thinking about the kids out waiting for school buses. My first instinct, as always, was to want to move, immediately. To another neighborhood. Or Canada. But it’s been four days now, and I’ve calmed down. Sort of. This is not just the usual gun-loving America, it’s Trump’s America: the guns aren’t going anywhere. And unfortunately, neither is Trump. And it seems he still has a long way to go on his punch list, as builders like to call their project to-do list, though in his case it’s a punch list for un-building. Dismantling. Destroying. What can one person do? I keep asking myself. Very little, it seems. Very little. But little is not nothing. If we all keep doing whatever very little things [...]

Look Up

2025-03-22T15:39:04-07:00Categories: family, featured posts, nature, politics, Uncategorized|Tags: , , , , , |

(Glacier Peak) Feeling lousy? Look up. Literally. Preferably at the sky. But it works indoors, too, especially if you’ve been frozen in a head-down position looking at your phone or tablet, taking in the news. Set the device down. Look out the window. Look at a picture on your wall—ideally at eye level or higher—of someplace or someone or some bit of art that you love. Can you feel your mood change?  I remember hearing about the power of looking up from my brother-in-law, who is a high school teacher. This was several years ago (maybe he or one of his colleagues had come across this 2016 article in Psychology Today by research psychologist Colin Ellard), and I am always grateful when I remember this little trick, because it works. And we are going to need every little trick we can think of for the next four years.  A few weeks ago, my good friend Anne (with an E, unlike me) had eye surgery to repair a hole in her macula. I stayed with her for the first few days, as she got acclimated to the strict rules she had to follow for five full days after the surgery. The most important part of this regime was to keep her head in a downward-facing position for 50 out of every 60 waking minutes. She rented a massage table and a massage chair. The chair turned out to be more comfortable. But even when she got up for those few allowed minutes per hour, she [...]

When in Rome

2024-12-11T07:38:17-08:00Categories: arts, featured posts, midlife, politics, travel, Uncategorized|Tags: , , , , , |

Do as the Romans do. Walk miles every day over the black cobblestones, over the layers of history hidden beneath them. Eat pizza and pasta and gelati. Drink espresso and wine and big blowsy Aperol spritzes. While you’re sipping, listen to your husband read to you about Caravaggio, whose studio was a stone’s throw from where you’re sitting. When in Rome, do not tear your hair and rend your clothing over the American election. Has a single Italian person asked you about it? No, not a one. Is the sun bathing the white ramparts of the Vittorio Emmanuel II monument? Yes, it is. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Look up that sentence, and you’ll find that it’s an expression that dates from the fourth century AD. And what a useful one it is, especially when you’re actually in Rome, as Rustin and I were, two weeks after the November election.  When we were planning this trip, we had dared to hope that we’d be in a celebratory state of mind. Al contrario. As we dragged our roller-bags to the light rail station, at 4:45 on a Tuesday morning exactly two weeks after Election Day, I felt like we were fleeing the scene of a massive explosion: deafened, bruised, glass and debris still embedded in our skin and hair; all we wanted was to get away from the smoke and sludge. I felt like I ought to feel guilty, because surely we should’ve been pitching in, getting people to safety, not flying off to [...]

For the People

2024-08-25T14:56:40-07:00Categories: featured posts, featured posts, politics, women's rights|Tags: , , , , , |

I bought an American flag yesterday. It cost $1.29 plus tax. It is the first American flag I have ever purchased. It was my husband’s idea, since I was out and about and near the kind of hardware store where they might sell flags. I think he thought I’d come home with a larger one, but the next size up was three feet by five feet, and I wasn’t quite ready for one that big, this being my first flag ever. But give me a few days. Because that’s how life is right now: I am feeling more patriotic by the hour. And I know I'm not alone. For millions of Americans, last week was just one big patriotic crescendo. It’s as if all the language of patriotism—especially that one word, freedom—and all the symbolism—especially the flag—and all the music, especially the national anthem—have been released from some kind of nefarious captivity and returned to us. To the people.  It’s as if, on Night One of the Democratic National Convention, Hillary Clinton’s rhetorical transformation of the glass ceiling into a filigree of cracks through which we can see the sunlight of freedom ahead set the scene for the week, and allowed the light to just keep pouring in, via Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Shawn Fain, Steve Kerry, the dazzling Obamas, Oprah, Tim Walz, Doug Emhoff, and dozens and dozens of others. And the signs. And the balloons. And the roll call. And the great-nieces, teaching the world to say “Comma-La.”   And Kamala herself. She was radiant. She was [...]

Doing the Hard Thing

2024-06-30T16:47:47-07:00Categories: creative aging, featured posts, featured posts, politics|Tags: , , , , |

One minute you’re hanging by your knees from your neighbors’ swing set, and the next minute you’re on the ground and your arm is hurting a whole lot more than your average bumped elbow or skinned knee. “Better go home and show your mom,” the neighbor kids tell you, so you do, and her answer, which is not surprising to you, is, “I’m sure it will feel all better in the morning.” But it doesn’t. And it doesn’t feel better the next morning either, or the morning after that. So your mom finally takes you to the doctor and he says you’ve got a fractured wrist. Just a hairline fracture, he calls it, as he washes up and starts wrapping your arm like he’s doing a papier maché project at school. You feel pretty special, until he tells you the bad news: no swimming for six weeks. Six weeks?! Is he kidding? No, apparently not. Doesn’t he know it’s summertime, and you may be only seven, but you’re on the swim team? Yes, he does know it’s summertime, and he commends you for being on the team. But, he says, this is what you have to do when you’ve got a broken wrist. Fast forward sixty years, and you’re on the storied Spider Meadow Trail in the Glacier Peak Wilderness, with a pack on your back. You’re feeling pretty good, because the hike up went well, you and your husband spent a lovely June night in the meadow, watching the long light fade over the mountains, [...]

The Poets and the Helpers

2024-01-26T07:43:43-08:00Categories: arts, Creative, featured posts, featured posts, nature, politics|Tags: , , |

We were practicing small talk. “What is your favorite season?” was one of the questions on our worksheet. When the teacher asked me—her once-a-week classroom helper—what I  wanted to say was “all the seasons, every one of them,” but for the sake of demonstrating to English language learners how small talk typically goes, I said “Summer.” And smiled. And on this cold, gray January morning, everyone in the classroom sighed, because just by saying the word out loud—summer­­—I had brought summer into all of our minds for about one second. I felt like a poet, who had just recited a one-word poem. Short though it was, it needed no other words. I felt like a helper, who had just taken a classroom of refugees, exhausted by the daunting task of learning English, on a one-second vacation. As we plunge into this fraught year, I’ve been thinking about Mr. Rogers’ oft-quoted advice—“Look for the helpers”—and pondering why this simple phrase has had such a comforting, calming effect on so many millions of people, myself included. I came across a 2018 essay in the Atlantic by Ian Bogost in which he chastised adults like myself who have clung naïvely to this advice intended for children. “Ironically,” Bogost wrote, “when adults cite ‘Look for the helpers,’ they are saying something tragic, not hopeful: Grown-ups now feel so disenfranchised that they implicitly self-identify as young children.” But I disagree. Adults understand nuance. We know the helpers can’t make everything better. But we also understand that it is essential to know they [...]

Honesty: Good or Bad?

2021-08-30T07:51:38-07:00Categories: faith and doubt, featured posts, health & medicine, hiking, nature, politics, Uncategorized, women's rights, writing|Tags: , , , |

“DISARM!” declares the pink post-it in the back of my journal. It’s been there for a few weeks now, and I can’t seem to throw it away. The note dates from a getaway spent with friends at a borrowed beach cottage. We thought we might be expected to set the alarm at night, and I thought I might be the first one to open the door in the morning. So I put post-its on the door, the coffeepot, and my journal. But then we didn’t set the alarm. We opted instead for open windows and fresh marine air. The word, however, stayed with me. Because I am badly in need of dis-arming. This summer, I have set all kinds of alarms against, well, feeling. Because there’s just too damn much to feel. And for me, along with feeling goes writing anywhere except in my journal. Because when I sit down to write with intent to share, as I am right now, I come up against that timeworn question that is the title of this post. Honesty: good or bad? I’m not talking here about truth versus lies. I’m talking about being honest about how you feel.  About expressing your real feelings versus repressing them. Honesty is good, when I write about how sweet it has felt this summer to be at the beach or in the mountains or forests with family or with friends. Is honesty bad when I write about how worried I am about every place I love, as temperatures spike and wildfires rage [...]

Pandemic Patience

2021-03-29T14:48:19-07:00Categories: featured posts, gun control, health & medicine, human rights, journalism, midlife, politics, Seattle, urban life|Tags: , , , , , , , |

“Patience,” wrote an early master of social media, is “a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.” How absolutely true, I thought. Despair. But minor. Disguised—but poorly, in my own case—as a virtue. This timely quip dates back more than a century, to when the dashing Civil War veteran and writer Ambrose Bierce published his “Devil’s Dictionary,” a collection of satiric definitions he had penned, over several decades, for newspapers and magazines. I was rummaging on Google for a bit of standard etymology for the word “patience” (“from the Latin patientia, the quality of suffering or enduring”) when Bierce’s one-liner popped up. So very descriptive of where many of us are right now, isn’t it? In the past year, there has been unbelievable suffering. And endurance. But in November, we learned two huge things about 2021: 1) We would soon have a new president (although we didn’t yet know how many people were in deep denial about that) and 2) We would all be vaccinated. Eventually. But definitely in 2021. Ever since, the worldwide call to action has been for patience. Sadly, I do not have a great track record when it comes to patience. But surely that won’t be a problem, I thought, back in December. Because I’m turning 64 in January! And then when the initial vaccination phases were broadly outlined, and the number “65” was in bold type everywhere, I thought: That’s okay. I can be patient. Because after they vaccinate all the 65-year-olds, they’ll give me a call, right? My big, [...]

365 Days

2021-01-18T18:12:50-08:00Categories: creative aging, featured posts, feminism, human rights, midlife, politics, Seattle, travel, Uncategorized, urban life, women's rights|Tags: , , , , , , |

365 days ago, I celebrated my 63rd birthday in California with close friends. We marched in the 2020 Oakland women’s march, shouting with and talking to many total strangers, and admiring everyone’s signs. We dined out at a brewpub for lunch and an Italian restaurant for dinner. There was a stop for oysters somewhere in there too. In case we might still be hungry, my friends had hidden a selection of fancy birthday desserts in the back of the fridge. Wow. Though I had just returned from a long trip to Mexico, I thought nothing of hopping a flight from Seattle to Oakland for that weekend. My husband had been sick with a strange and  terrible flu through the last several days of the trip. There were a few days he couldn’t get out of bed. Not like him, at all. There were other days he couldn’t stop coughing. He was finally on the mend, but we had both been shocked by how hard this illness hit him. I know what you’re thinking. And… we’ll never know, though he recently donated blood and the Covid-19 antibody test came back negative. But back to my 2020 birthday weekend. I’d really like to dwell on it some more. There was a long afternoon at the SF MoMA. There was another afternoon of walking all over the UC Berkeley Campus. There was talk, so much talk: my friends and I worried together about whether Trump could be defeated, and if so, which candidate had the best chance. Harris? Warren? [...]

Birds, Ballots, Barrett

2021-03-31T11:06:16-07:00Categories: faith and doubt, featured posts, feminism, hiking, memoir, nature, politics, reading, Uncategorized, women's rights|Tags: , , , , , |

I once visited a bird hide (or blind, as we call them in North America) in the wet, windswept fens of East Anglia, far to the northeast of London. That is all. Please forgive me, birders of the world; I remember nothing, at least nothing that has to do with birds. I was 19, and a newly arrived exchange student at the University of East Anglia, whose concrete, mid-1960s buildings resemble oversized bird hides. UEA is on the outskirts of Norwich, which is still the lively market town it was when William the Conqueror built his castle there a thousand years ago. I loved Norwich, but I was always game for an excursion. Bird-watching: why not? That faded memory tugged at me through all 458 pages of Helen Macdonald’s book of essays, Vesper Flights. My acquaintance with the young man who invited me to the bird hide was so fleeting that I can only remember a bit of what he looked like: droopy mustache, watch cap, wellies. A sweet smile. Not actually a UEA student; I met him at a party. When I told my cross-the-hall friend Bridget about his invitation, she decided she and her boyfriend Chris would go birding too. They would drive me, and we would meet my new friend there. So off we went in Chris’ Morris Mini, across the low-slung fens, to a long, equally low-slung wooden shack that blended right into the landscape, which of course was the point. My birder friend waved at us. “Hi!” I shouted happily. He [...]

A Kind of September

2020-10-01T15:35:06-07:00Categories: featured posts, hiking, politics, quiet, urban life|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

On the first day of September, 2020, I turned my head at just the right moment and saw an owl, still as a portrait, on a branch over a teardrop of a pond in the Arboretum. It was noon. The owl was enjoying the shade, and did not care to move, even after a whispering clutch of onlookers gathered to snap photos on their phones. We were mesmerized by the owl’s patient gaze; by its obliviousness to our restless human need to marvel at its composure. It seemed a good omen of a kind of September: when we could try to remember, as in the old song, when life was slow and oh, so mellow. But no: if the owl was an omen, that was not its message. Seems to me a screaming blue-jay would have been a better harbinger of the fires, floods, pestilence, grief, corruption and mud-slinging that lay in store for us, way back on September 1. On the other hand: maybe the owl in the Arboretum was the right omen for the job. Maybe the owl’s message was: Don’t flail. Find your branch, and stay still like me. We’ll ride this month out, together. Easy for me to say. I did not have to evacuate a home that was about to burn or flood. I did not have to rush to the ER, short of breath. I do not anticipate having my vote rejected. In September 2020, my job turned out to be an owl’s job after all: stay still. Shut out the [...]

Pandemic Mountain

2020-08-30T16:45:22-07:00Categories: featured posts, hiking, politics, Uncategorized|Tags: , , , , |

In the middle of this pandemic summer, in a tent on a ridge just a stone’s throw from Mt. Baker, my husband and I woke in the wee hours to the sound of two young voices, chatting away, getting closer and louder every second. We could see their headlamps bobbing like a pair of fireflies as they hiked towards us, up the steep trail known as the Railroad Grade route to the Mt. Baker climbers’ basecamp. Our tent was just a few feet off the trail. We’d left the rainfly off: on this silky July night, we needed nothing between us and the starry sky but the tent’s inner mosquito-net shell. We hadn’t seen anyone else for hours. But here they came at 1:40 a.m., these two young men, hiking with headlamps, ready to climb Mt. Baker. They must’ve left the trailhead around midnight. They were nearly on top of us when they finally saw our tent and lowered their voices a little. We pretended to be asleep. They walked on by. We watched their lights bob out of sight. It took us both a while to get back to sleep. But there had been something so happy and cozy about their camaraderie, in the wee hours, that I felt lucky to have heard it. I don’t remember a word they said, only that they were animated and buoyant, as if their packs full of climbing gear weighed nothing. As if they were waterskiing uphill. It was like hearing voices from the past: from that innocent [...]

Emotional Truth: Teaching Memoir in the Time of Trump

2020-02-29T10:33:18-08:00Categories: arts, brain, Creative, creative aging, featured posts, memoir, politics, writing|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Sixteen years ago, on Leap Year Day, my mathematically gifted brother left this world. Felled by glioblastoma, he did not have much choice in the timing of his death. But he did have a flair for drama, and it may have pleased him to give a parting nod to the beauty of numbers. The fact is that he died on February 29, 2004. The emotional truth is that he died not on any old dreary winter day, but on a numerically elegant date that only happens every four years. We memoir writers like to talk about seeking, and writing, the emotional truth. It’s an intuitive concept; more what you feel than what you think. Yes, you tell yourself, when you feel you’ve got it right: what I’ve written is what happened, and why it mattered. Or no, you sigh as you stare at the words on the screen: no, I’m not telling it right. I’m holding back. Or telling the wrong story. Or writing around the heart of the matter, instead of into it. Here’s a famous example of emotional truth, from Ernest Hemingway’s memoir, A Moveable Feast: “I’ve seen you, beauty, and you belong to me now, whoever you are waiting for and if I never see you again,” Hemingway wrote, of a woman who walked in to the café where he was writing; a woman he still remembered three decades later. “You belong to me and all Paris belongs to me and I belong to this notebook and this pencil.” When I teach memoir [...]

Being Mortal in the Time of Trump

2019-11-07T12:07:12-08:00Categories: creative aging, faith and doubt, featured posts, gun control, hiking, human rights, immigration, politics, Uncategorized|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

What matters most? That question has been like a three-word anthem for me this month, as I re-read Atul Gawande’s Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End. The small Seattle church I attend is having a summer book club, of sorts, which consists of reading Being Mortal and getting together in small groups to talk about it over dinner. The group I was in kept coming back to that question: what matters most? In Being Mortal, Gawande talks about a patient who decided that for him, life would continue to be worth living as long as he could enjoy chocolate ice cream and watching football on TV. Another patient, who knew her time was limited, wanted to be able to continue to give piano lessons as long as she could. But what really matters most—behind the scenes of those two and pretty much all of Gawande’s examples—is being with the people you love. Being able to love and be loved. That’s what matters most. The other day, I was feeling a sort of low-grade emotional fever, triggered by Not Accomplishing Enough Work-Wise while wishing I could Just Go Swimming. My malaise was compounded by that other virus I can’t seem to kick: Creeping Despair.           I decided to wallow. Just for a few minutes. So I opened Facebook. And there was the most delightful post from an old friend, describing how much fun she’d had hiking in Mt. Rainier National Park with her adult son. There were photos and captions loaded with mutual affection. [...]

This Large Light

2019-11-07T14:46:38-08:00Categories: faith and doubt, gun control, human rights, politics, Seattle, urban life|Tags: , , , , , , |

Driving west up Union, we could see taillights stretching ahead in a long, slow column. We crossed 23rd Avenue, turned onto a side street and parked. As we walked uphill towards Seattle’s storied Temple de Hirsch Sinai, my husband and I fell in step with a few others, then a few dozen. And then suddenly we were part of a stream of a few thousand, or more. Volunteers directed us to the ends of the long lines that circled the temple block in every direction. The quiet was palpable. The announcement soon went out that the synagogue, which holds 2,000 people, was full. Police blocked off the street in front and encouraged the hundreds of us who couldn’t get in to gather outside. Loudspeakers were set up. Someone began to strum a guitar and lead us in song. I stood behind a tall man in a fedora with a voice like a deep, clear bell and tried to pick up a few of the Hebrew words. One of the rabbis came out and spoke to us. He told us God’s tears were mixing with ours, as we stood together in remembrance of the eleven people murdered two days ago at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh. He talked of planting a new Tree of Life, where love can—no, must, he said—have the last word. I thought of a film I saw this weekend, at the Friday Harbor Film Festival, that was all about how trees communicate with each other, underground; how the roots of wholly [...]

Anger Management

2019-11-07T14:47:28-08:00Categories: feminism, journalism, politics, travel, women's rights|Tags: , , , |

His calendar? Does anyone really think a 17-year-old boy would put a drinking party at the home of a friend whose parents would definitely not be present on his calendar?             Thanks a lot, New York Times News Alert. Just when I was getting my anger under control, just when I was beginning to believe I might be able to think about something besides the upcoming Brett Kavanaugh hearing in which he will reiterate to us that he categorically denies Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s allegations of sexual assault—now this: Kavanaugh’s 1982 calendar, which features “basketball games, movie outings, football workouts and college interviews. A few parties are mentioned, but include names of friends other than those identified by Dr. Blasey.” I’m aware that I’ve been on a low simmer for a solid week; that this would not be a good time for me to have my blood pressure checked. But I thought I was managing my anger, until the news alert about the calendar. And that was before the latest news about a second allegation from a college classmate. One night about 41 years ago, I made a mistake and missed a train. I was in Geneva, and I missed the last train to Paris. I was 19, and traveling on a ridiculous budget. I had no Swiss francs left and no credit card. It was nearly midnight. A 30-something American in an expensive trench coat offered to take me to his parents’ home, where I could sleep in the guest bedroom. I sized him up [...]

Seeking Shade

2019-11-07T14:37:29-08:00Categories: creative aging, faith and doubt, human rights, immigration, nature, politics, Seattle|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

There is a toxic, orange glare emanating from the White House. We’ve got to seek shade wherever we can. As I hopscotched from one patch of shade to the next during our most recent heat wave, feeling grateful for Seattle’s generous canopy of trees, I thought: this is what we’re all doing now. Seeking shade from that poisonous glare. It’s a matter of spiritual and psychological survival. My own shade-seeking, Summer of 2018 mantra is this: “I am NOT going to let Donald Trump prevent me from writing my book.” Easier said than done, in the summer of 2018. But I’m doing it: I’m writing; I’m fitting in an hour or two a day, more when I can, less when work takes precedence or it’s time for a hiking break. Writers, here’s my advice: close your email and your browser. Silence your phone. Set a timer for an hour. Checking your email, texts and news once an hour is enough. My own recent favorite reads And readers: show yourself some kindness. Tear your bleary eyes away from the news alerts and the OpEds and read a novel or a memoir or a short story or a non-political essay. Feel your breathing change and your shoulders relax as you settle in. Parents and grandparents: read stories to your kids. The book I am writing is about faith and doubt: the fervent faith of my youth, the twenty-year break I took from religion, the meaning I’ve found in accepting that doubt is where my faith now [...]

Reinvention II

2019-11-07T14:48:43-08:00Categories: creative aging, politics, women's rights|Tags: , , , , , |

It’s only been two weeks. And as I write, the students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida have finished their first full day of classes since February 14, 2018: a Valentine's Day that may have started sweetly, for some, but ended, for all, in horror. And now, like it or not, they are engaging in that classic American project: reinvention. Two years ago, I wrote a Restless Nest post about reinvention that now reads like a runic record of ancient times. It’s about reinvention as practiced by people my age; the kind that is motivated by benign milestones like career changes, downsizing, upsizing, retirement. It was written in that naïve era when we all assumed Hillary Clinton would be our next president; when we never would have dreamed that political vigilance would soon require an unprecedented amount of our time and attention. Fourteen students and three adults from Marjory Stoneman Douglas will never have those kinds of opportunities for reinvention. Or political vigilance. But their surviving classmates are wasting no time. Two weeks ago, they were kids. Now, they are mourners and activists. And they are unafraid to say what needs to be said about gun violence and the complicity of the National Rifle Association and all the politicians the NRA grooms as its well-paid pawns. They are unafraid to reinvent themselves and their lives in honor of the friends they lost. And look at the effect they’re having: in statehouses, in Washington, D.C., in the offices of corporate CEOs, including, as of [...]

State of the Union: Flashback

2019-11-07T14:49:23-08:00Categories: memoir, politics, Seattle|Tags: , , , , , , , |

I had a flashback during the approximately 30 minutes I could bear to watch of the State of the Union address. In the summer of 1974, which for me was the summer between high school and college, I was working the front counter at Kazdal’s Deli on University Way in Seattle. Kazdal’s (which later became the Lock, Stock and Bagel) was more of a lunch spot than a dinner restaurant. So just before 6 p.m. on August 9, the place was pretty quiet. Suddenly, someone burst in our door and asked if we had a TV. “Nixon’s about to resign!” he said. No, we didn’t have a TV. “But the Continental does,” said the cook, who had come running in from the kitchen. “Let’s get over there.” The Continental was the Greek restaurant across the street. The cook dashed on over. I looked around—not a customer in the place—grabbed the keys, locked the front door and followed him. I was about halfway across when a cop on a motorcycle roared up to me. “Get back on the sidewalk, Miss. I’m writing you a ticket for jaywalking.” “But Officer, don’t you know? Nixon’s resigning right now and I have to get to the Continental to see it on TV!” The policeman was unmoved. He took down my name and address and gave me my ticket, watching me as I ran up to the crosswalk, waited for the light to change, and ran into the Continental, just in time to catch Nixon weirdly yammering on to the American [...]

After 2017: Wound Care

2019-11-07T14:50:14-08:00Categories: human rights, immigration, journalism, memoir, midlife, Occupy, politics, Seattle, Uncategorized, women's rights|Tags: , , , , , , , |

One year ago—before the Inauguration, before the women’s marches, before everything else that has happened since—I attended a New Year’s Eve get-together at which everyone made a prediction for 2017. Mine was that the next (“hopefully great”) Democratic presidential candidate, “someone we haven’t even thought of yet,” would emerge by the end of this year. Others predicted that Trump would be impeached. Or that his first Supreme Court nominee would somehow be blocked. Some guests offered more general forecasts: “the pendulum will swing;” “people will come to their senses.” My husband vowed that we would see the “total cratering” of the Republican Party. His prediction may have come closest to the mark. And though my own hope was misplaced—I think we’re still not even close to identifying the next Democratic candidate for president—I do believe the pendulum is swinging, and many people are coming to their senses. They just may not be the same people we had hoped would come to their senses. The people who are coming to their senses are not the people who voted for Trump. We now understand that most of them (a minority of Americans, let’s not forget) are very unlikely to change their minds. The people who are coming to their senses are us. By which I mean the whole big crazy quilt of the Left. Or “The Resistance,” as Trump now likes to call us, in air quotes, thinking that it’s a scathing put-down. To which I say: Congratulations, Everyone! We’ve made enough noise this year to get our own [...]

American Infection

2019-11-07T14:50:44-08:00Categories: economics, health & medicine, human rights, immigration, politics, Seattle, Uncategorized|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Sometimes we writers search too hard for the perfect metaphor. Sometimes, it’s right under our nose—or, in my case, right under my blue, Velcro-strapped boot. Infection: that’s what Trump is, I thought this morning, as I took my nineteenth of the twenty Amoxicillin tablets we brought home from the pharmacy ten days ago. Trump has infected our vigorous, 241-year-old democracy. And like so many infections, this one is fire-engine red and spreading, unchecked and unmedicated. Meanwhile, the patient is hot with fever one day and shaking with chills the next. Nothing tastes right. Muscles ache. Vaguely flu-like feelings abound. Waves of determination to soldier through—we’ll get over this!—are followed by languorous apathy: let’s just give up. Speaking as one who tried to ignore an infection for several days, I can tell you it is not a strategy that works. After foot surgery on November 6, I assumed the three incisions on my right foot were healing up nicely under all those bandages, just the way they had on my left foot, last May. And they probably were, for the first several days. But then something somehow went wrong along one of those neat lines of stitches. At that point my foot was in a plastic cast, so I couldn’t see it. And for reasons I cannot explain, I chose to believe that feeling like my foot was on fire was probably “normal,” that fever and chills were a “part" of healing, and that I would magically “get over it.” Wrong, wrong, wrong. Thank God for antibiotics. [...]

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